Foundational 50 #10 Safe from Harm

Day 10. Safe from Harm

"No matter what happens in your life, you've got to believe, 'this too shall pass' and if you keep persisting, you'll find a way."
--Anon

Safety needs are survival needs. Feeling trust in ourselves and others is difficult when we are using alcohol and drugs. Many of us can't trust ourselves to say no to drinking our using drugs, even though we swore we would not drink alcohol or use drugs again, ever. Addiction to alcohol and drugs is stronger than our will power, as the substances have changed our brain chemistry and when we are craving we feel we will die unless we get the substance in our bodies. Some of us can feel safe having a couple of drinks or do just a small amount of drugs. And we can do this sometimes, until the compulsion takes over and we end up in saying or doing things we wish we hadn't, or we experience a blackout and don't recall what happened. We threatened our own safety and the safety of others because the destructive power of the substances took over our brain and our actions.

Choose to stop using alcohol and drugs, and end the powerful pull the addiction has had in your life. It takes thoughtful action to choose to live life fully. Just for today. To be truly safe from harm, we must first reclaim our own thoughts, emotions and actions without the mind altering effects of alcohol and drugs on our choices.


UNFULFILLED

Frightened of situations, relationships do not feel physically or emotionally safe; avoid social situations, isolating, afraid for what we will do our say to others; or too trusting of others, loosing our ability to take responsibility for our actions, ignore, deny, minimize, rationalize and neglect our own and others safety and well being.

SATISFIED

Listen to your intuition and rational mind about your alcohol and drug use. Keep your commitment to yourself to reach out to a recovery activity, begin treatment for your addiction, talk to people you can trust and let them know you can't trust your own commitment to not use alcohol and drugs despite the negative consequences to you and others. Reach out to sober people.

TRY THIS:

* List the consequences that have happened as a result of being under the influence of chemicals
* Write out a personal commitment to yourself to stick to a recovery plan, attend an AA or NA meeting, sign up for a treatment program, call someone you know who has knowledge of addictions, or call a therapist, or AA Central in your community. There is someone on call 24 hours a day.

What are you willing to say or do today to feel safe?


What would give you a ten, 50 days from now? Write down this goal:


Take an action today to keep your commitment to feel safe today.


Be safe today.

Judy Saalinger, Ph.D., MFT, CAS

Foundational 50 #9 Soltitude

Day 9


Be still and know that I am.
Bible

The ability to find solitude in this busy world of ours is a challenge. Solitude, is a time out to regroup without any expectations for quieting the mind and body is important in our overall physical and emotional health. In solitude we integrate the stimulation to refresh our creative selves. Solitude is often confused with isolation. The disease of addiction is a disease of isolation. It is staying away from others so we can drink and use drug without anyone bothering us. In recovery, isolation is a dangerous thing to do as it can contribute to a relapse to drink or use drugs. Isolation is a lonely experience, disconnected from the world of activity.

During times of change in recovery it is very important to allow our inner self time to process our thoughts and emotions. In the stillness of solitude, our change germinates. We then hear the whisper of our direction and receive guidance.

Sit in silence for five full minutes. Then, write a few words, draw a picture or symbol to describe your experience in the silence:


Solitude

UNFULFILLED

Irritable, isolating, resistant, bored, avoiding others calls or contact. We feel alone and lonely, less productive, overwhelmed, tension in body, feeling disconnected to self. It is a time we may experience cravings for for alcohol and or drugs.

SATISFIED

Feel the peace and quiet of our world. We tap the stillness within us and feel relaxed and connected to our deeper self, for we know we are not really alone in our communities and families.

TRY THIS:

* Find a quiet spot in your home, office, garden or park.
* Meditate at the same time each day.
* Sit quietly for three minutes,then, journal for ten minutes
* Practice silence; listen rather than speak today.

Write about a time you felt the stillness of solitude:



Find peace in your stillness today.


Judy Saalinger,Ph.D., MFT, CAS
Clinical Director

Foundational 50 - #6 Emotional Release

Foundational Fifty - 50 Days to Meeting Your Needs

#6. Emotional Release

“We humans are full of unpredictable emotions that logic cannot solve.”
-Capt. James T. Kirk, Star Trek

Take the necessary moments to nurture your emotions every day. Spend time alone and allow yourself to feel the sadness, fear, relief, anxiety and excitement of your day. These often-complex emotions are indicators that signal the feeling side of us and communicate that movement and growth is necessary, much like a bud emerging on a vine. Emotional release is our ability to surrender to the emotional expressions of our lives.

Many of us grew up in homes where the rule was not to feel, and we held in our pain until we became numb to what was around us. Avoiding our emotions will keep us stuck. Opening the door to release brings forth our joy... and our vulnerability. In the safety of a friend or a supportive person we can begin to shed the armor that has both protected us and blocked our growth.

As we play, make love, cry, listen to music, work on a project, build something, play a musical instrument, create art, write, sculpt or get a massage, we release our emotions. When we are emotionally open during the transition of change, we receive the necessary ingredients to let go of the past and find our voice to fulfill our most important needs.

What emotion do you want to release: anger, sadness, bewilderment, hurt, excitement?

Describe how you release your emotions:

Emotional Release

UNFULFILLED

Feel bound up with emotion. Realize we are having an emotional response to a situation, after an event has occurred. Avoid situations for fear we will break down and cry, explode with anger or run away because of our fear. The emotions may be emerging after many years in hiding.

SATISFIED

Feel our emotions in the moment and are able to find release. We give ourselves permission to cry. We take the time to identify what we are feeling and can share it with others safely.

TRY THIS:

* Draw, paint, sculpt or write about your emotions.
* Get or give a massage, relax and let go.
* Listen to music, dance! Sing, or just sweat!
* Write your feelings in your journal .

Rate your ability to release your emotions safely on a scale of 1-10:

When is the last time you sat down and had a good cry to release the emotional hurts you've been collecting?

Alcohol and drug abuse recovery includes getting in touch with the emotional side of yourself.

Foundational 50 - Environmental Comfort

Foundational 50 - 50 Days to meeting your basic needs:

5. Environmental Comfort: “Bless the life that is lived here. Grant that trust and peace and comfort abide within and that love and life and usefulness may go out from this home forever."
--A Kitchen Plaque

Our environmental surroundings affect our physiology and have an impact on us both physically and emotionally. We can sense a greater fulfillment in an environment that is safe and comfortable, that supports us physically with fresh air and low noise. A clean environment organized aesthetically with colors, textures, and design is also important. Our environment can bring out our feelings of peace and tranquility or stress and confusion. The presence of clutter and items that we do not use or need today create an energy drain on us.

Janet had become depressed and was unable to get her home life organized. Each time she went into her home she felt overwhelmed and drained. One of her friends wanted to help her to straighten things up and when Janet accepted the offer as a possible solution in her healing, she was amazed at how much better she felt. Keeping up the organization meant she needed to organize other areas of her life. She bought a daily organizer, started making lists, writing her goals and ideas that came to mind.

Look around your space right now, at the books and papers or clothes. Really notice the details of each item. Pick one item from the room: where did it come from, does it have a story behind it? Each of the items speaks to your unconscious in its own way. By clearing out the things we are not using, we are making a statement to the universe about letting go of the old. Clean out old files, letters, and clothes and recycle them with friends, or through a resale/thrift shop. Allow your body to feel free of the old. If replacement of items would help you to feel more comfortable in your environment, letting go of the old first will create the space to manifest the new.

Describe your environment at this moment:

UNFULFILLED

Inadequate warmth and safety; lack of necessities to provide ease in cooking, sleeping, relaxing.

SATISFIED

Home and workplace that is safe, secure, comfortable, orderly and provides a place for organized activity as well as rest and rejuvenation.

TRY THIS:

* Fix something in your home today.
* Make your bed, organize a drawer or closet.
* Create a comfortable personal space for rest.
* Give away or sell those items you don’t use anymore.

Now, rate the fulfillment of your environmental comfort needs today on a scale of 1-10:

What are you willing to do to fully satisfy your environmental needs?

Foundation Fifty - 50 Days to Meeting Your Needs: #2 Food & Drink

Day 2: Food and Drink:

"Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are."
--Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826)

The foods we eat and the liquids we drink determine our perception of the day, the way we handle stress and interact with others. Eating a planned meal or snack will keep our lives on an even track, something that will build our reserves as we go through the changes in our lives. Eating because we are anxious, lonely, tired, sad, angry or excited will lead to a temporary solution, however when the uncomfortable feelings or event occurs again, we may attempt to solve it in the same manner.

Bonnie was irritable with her seven-year-old twins who always wanted to play before going to bed. Writing down the things she could not control to help her understand what she really needed, she made the connection that eating too many carbohydrates (cookies, prepared foods, cereal and breads with refined sugars), were making her even more tired in the evenings. Bonnie was already tired after having worked all day and attended support group meetings right after work. In order to get more energy Bonnie got together with her friends at work and they shared recipes for low carbohydrate meals. She even went online and found an international group that exchanged cooking ideas. As she transformed the way she looked at food -- from something to mask her real need for more energy to a resource that could help her improve her well-being -- she was able to make change. When we eat well and abstain from alcohol and illegal drugs, we make clear decisions and are less impulsive with our emotions.

Be aware of what you are doing or not doing, and why. If we are eating compulsively, or not wanting to eat at all, we are masking our emotions and denying our real needs. Through assertively communicating these needs to others as well as ourselves, we will be able to maintain a healthier balance in all areas of our life. If eating patterns become a problem in our lives, we may be in an addiction, hypoglycemia or diabetes. It is best to check it out with your doctor. Changing food patterns is not easy. Give yourself a pat on the back for each small step forward and be gentle on yourself with old behavior. Each meal and snack is a new experience, and a new opportunity to choose differently!

Write what you are eating today:

Healthy Food & Liquids

UNFULFILLED

Unbalanced or excessive eating to mask your emotions; low water intake; excessive alcohol, mood swings.

SATISFIED
Adequate and balanced food, healthy nutritional patterns and regular water intake.

TRY THIS:
* Create a daily plan of three balanced meals and two healthy snacks.
* Drink eight glasses of water a day.
* Take a short walk after each meal.

List the healthy foods and liquids you take into your body:

Rate the fulfillment of your needs for healthy food and liquids today on a scale of 1-10:

What actions are you willing to take that would give you a ten today?

What would give you a ten, 50 days from now?

Write this goal and create an action list.

Fill in the affirmation:

I, ___________ am doing_______________________ to meet my needs for healthy food and liquids

Thank you for the strength to keep my commitment to eat healthy today.

Foundational 50 - Fifty Days to Meeting Your Needs

Day 1. OXYGEN "Breathe" The first lesson in life.

Without oxygen we perish. Yet, many of us become almost unconscious as to our breathing, not realizing that our breaths are very shallow, thus creating physiological stress on our body. We have panic attacks, worry what will happen tomorrow, grieve for what happened in the past, or look for something outside ourselves to make us feel better. Being conscious of our breathing will take us into our bodies in the present moment, allow us to detach from whatever we are attempting to control, and help us develop the skill of listening to the messages our body is communicating. Conscious breathing also sets our priorities, we don not focus outside of ourselves, rather we have our attention focused inward where it calms us.

MaryAnn used to have panic attacks when she became unconscious of her breathing. The attacks would come on suddenly and for no obvious reason, her heart would start racing, she would have difficulty breathing, become confused and think she was having a heart attack. When she became conscious of her breathing, she realized she had been holding her breath. George, on the other hand, talked in long sentences without taking a breath. He would find himself exhausted at the end of the day, as his oxygen intake was low in relation to the energy expended.

Exercise: Take a full deep breathe from your diaphragm and notice the difference in your body. As you breathe in oxygen, feel it move to your lowest part of your lungs and expand your abdomen outward. To breathe by expanding your lungs and chest creates tension and imbalance in your bodies, whereas conscious breathing through your abdomen reduces stress, lowers your heart rate and brings you to your center. Awareness of breath is awareness of the powerful life force that enters and heals your body, minute after minute. Be aware of the present moment. Breathe deeply. Enjoy.

Write about your deep breathing since the change:

Oxygen:

UNFULFILLED

Anxious and stressed, take shallow breaths, bringing in little to no oxygen. Our brains and bodies need oxygen to think clearly.

SATISFIED

Ease in taking deep breaths, enjoying the freshness of the air, feel vibrant, energized.
We are more relaxed and conscious of the power of our breath.

TRY THIS:

* Stand up, swing your arms and appreciate the resistance of air.
* Take five minutes to consciously breathe.
* Go for a swim.
* Blow up a balloon.

How do you rate your level of oxygen intake today on a scale of 1-10?

What would give you a ten today?

What would give you a ten, 50 days from now? Write this goal:

Write your action plan:


Fill in the affirmation:


I, ___________ am _______________________
to meet my need to have fresh air and breathe consciously.

Thank you (God, Higher Power, Spirit) for the strength to keep my commitment today.