Will Alcohol and Drug Rehab Help My Relationship?

The impact of alcohol and drug use on relationships can be severe:
     ---arguments
     ---misunderstandings
     ---broken promises
     ---betrayal
     ---disappointment
     ---guilt and shame

Tense situations fueled by alcohol or drugs lower the threshold of our patience, impairs judgment and lessens impulse control, damaging a person or a family for life.  This cycle of destructive relationship interactions can continue until one or both of the people get off the sinking ship.

Alcohol Rehab helps you and your loved ones to:
     ---Recognize that alcohol and drugs are the problem, not the person
     ---Stop trying to change each other and learn to accept the other person
     ---Attend support groups to talk to others who understand
     ---Overcome mistrust and find hope
     ---Experience relaxation for the first time in a long time
     ---Be honest in their daily lives
     ---Recognize the cycle of addiction that leads to relapse and build in new recovery pathways.

I began working with people who suffer from addiction problems since 1981 and have seen hundreds of couples repair and strengthen their relationships with partners, parents, children, extended family, friends and  employers. Yes, Alcohol and Drug Rehab will help your relationship. Give yourself a chance to recover.

Judy Saalinger, Ph.D., MFT, CAS
Co-Owner and Clinical Director
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Foundational 50 #10 Safe from Harm

Day 10. Safe from Harm

"No matter what happens in your life, you've got to believe, 'this too shall pass' and if you keep persisting, you'll find a way."
--Anon

Safety needs are survival needs. Feeling trust in ourselves and others is difficult when we are using alcohol and drugs. Many of us can't trust ourselves to say no to drinking our using drugs, even though we swore we would not drink alcohol or use drugs again, ever. Addiction to alcohol and drugs is stronger than our will power, as the substances have changed our brain chemistry and when we are craving we feel we will die unless we get the substance in our bodies. Some of us can feel safe having a couple of drinks or do just a small amount of drugs. And we can do this sometimes, until the compulsion takes over and we end up in saying or doing things we wish we hadn't, or we experience a blackout and don't recall what happened. We threatened our own safety and the safety of others because the destructive power of the substances took over our brain and our actions.

Choose to stop using alcohol and drugs, and end the powerful pull the addiction has had in your life. It takes thoughtful action to choose to live life fully. Just for today. To be truly safe from harm, we must first reclaim our own thoughts, emotions and actions without the mind altering effects of alcohol and drugs on our choices.


UNFULFILLED

Frightened of situations, relationships do not feel physically or emotionally safe; avoid social situations, isolating, afraid for what we will do our say to others; or too trusting of others, loosing our ability to take responsibility for our actions, ignore, deny, minimize, rationalize and neglect our own and others safety and well being.

SATISFIED

Listen to your intuition and rational mind about your alcohol and drug use. Keep your commitment to yourself to reach out to a recovery activity, begin treatment for your addiction, talk to people you can trust and let them know you can't trust your own commitment to not use alcohol and drugs despite the negative consequences to you and others. Reach out to sober people.

TRY THIS:

* List the consequences that have happened as a result of being under the influence of chemicals
* Write out a personal commitment to yourself to stick to a recovery plan, attend an AA or NA meeting, sign up for a treatment program, call someone you know who has knowledge of addictions, or call a therapist, or AA Central in your community. There is someone on call 24 hours a day.

What are you willing to say or do today to feel safe?


What would give you a ten, 50 days from now? Write down this goal:


Take an action today to keep your commitment to feel safe today.


Be safe today.

Judy Saalinger, Ph.D., MFT, CAS